The idea behind the word “stigma” leaves a painful scar–labels stick and eventually become a blurry mess. As kids get older all that “nice-nice treat others with respect” goes right out the window once those same students transition to middle school and beyond.
Unfortunately, your kidlet is subjected to being bullied; especially if he or she is integrated into a regular general education classroom. If I sound a bit nervy I don’t mean to be, but sadly, we can’t overlook the fact that many school shooters may have been bullied or were considered outcasts at some time in their life. Consequently, this is not about respecting other classmates or what should happen at school, because in a nice world, well, that would be nice. It is about what actually does happen. Bullies are in every school and it is very difficult to avoid them. Both schools and parents, need to make changes now to help kids understand that everyone is different and everyone deserves the same education and has the same rights in society.
While this scenario might seem painful to a parent it is the unfortunate reality of labeling a child, or worse, allowing the school to label your child for you.
Everyone participates
I don’t have all the answers and I don’t pretend to be an expert, but this is what I see. Elementary school administration would provide a great a service by gathering all the students together to discuss the fact that all people are different and all have challenges; hence, the old adage, “no one’s perfect.” Sure, this assembly would be time consuming and interrupt academic instruction, but this is a lesson which needs to be taught. Kids should know at a very early age that no one is perfect. This education should be taught at the beginning of every year and every grade level. People speak about “indoctrinating” students, but how great would it be for society if students could work together, respectfully, each year?
It is only a matter of time
Keep in mind that students who grow up together will usually enter some of the same schools and classes at one time or another. However, their attitudes will more than likely change; perhaps for the better, or maybe even for the worst. It is possible there could be serious challenges with the very children that were once considered to be “friends.” The name calling and isolation begins.
Fast forward to middle school; the gloves come off and students enter survival mode. If one is being harassed, he or she might feel relieved if the harassment suddenly starts to happen to someone else; even at the expense of an exceptional child. These thoughts are real and parents should understand that labeling children early in elementary school could have harmful results.
Below average
Some interventions will be effective, but overall, asking an administrator to speak individually with a bully about not harassing a child with a disability gets a big “F” for failure on the classroom report card. That only allows the special education student to be called out even more and it will be hidden on social media. While it seems innocent enough to communicate our child’s issues in an effort to gain support, it is nobody’s business except for the IEP team. I advise parents to use caution when discussing their child’s disability. Terms such as: disabled, mentally ill, wheelchair user, and handicapped are all outdated. Students will ultimately transition to different grade levels and so will the bullies.
High scores
Phrases such as; “learns differently,” “differently abled,” or “a person who uses a wheelchair” score much higher on the inclusion scale. These terms send the message that these students are “people first” and we should refer to them as such.
Parents could be proactive and teach diversity and inclusion for all. Refuse to allow the school to negatively label your child, because if you don’t, someone else will.
Photo credit: Brett Jordan – Pexels Free to use
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