I think it is safe to say that as parents we want the best for our children.
We can’t always blame our children for something bad that happens and we can’t always take credit when things go well.
Although, there is an immediate need to teach right from wrong, but there is no urgency to discuss our feelings and goals; even though our hearts say we should.
The struggle is real.
Nevertheless, in the case of raising teenagers, there are times when speaking directly to them, or with them, doesn’t really work out. Am I right?
Think about it.
Did you miss the opportunity to tell your children something great?
If so, writing a journal to your children is a way to explain your thoughts and create a legacy for yourself; a good way to communicate feelings, morals, and values — a memory maker!
Sometimes, people are able to express their thoughts on paper better than they are able to with words. How often have you stumbled trying to verbally communicate with your teenager only to regret every word later? There are no “do over’s” in conversations; especially with our children. They seem to remember everything we said and at just the most inopportune time. With writing or journaling, parents can take their time to pull their thoughts together. This process will avoid many unintended parental confrontations.
That being said, if you want your children to read what you’ve written, there are a few conditions you will want to keep in mind.
Hand-write or use a word document
Some parents choose to purchase a nice spiral notebook and keep handwritten notes and ideas in it–think scrapbook. This is a good idea if you plan to add keepsakes such as ticket stubs, notes, or childhood memories. Your children will appreciate the time you took to share memories in a special journal.
Others choose to keep a running journal in a word document which is easy to print out if needed. Using a word document offers a variety of benefits; for example, fun fonts, the ability to insert symbols and photos for added effects. The visuals will keep your child interested in what you have to say.
In any case, make it easy to read such as using smaller paragraphs for each entry. The number of paragraphs doesn’t really matter for each entry, but try not to ramble on. Less is more.
Texting
Sending a quick text message has its benefits and offers a quick lifeline in a pinch, but it doesn’t carry the same emotional sentiment as a nice hand written note or typed letter would. Texting is full of “text-speak” and bad grammar. Is that what you really want your child to see if you need to communicate a meaningful message.
Be consistent
Plan to write either daily, weekly, or monthly. Don’t forget birthdays, holidays, or any special occasions that you share with your child. Personalize the material as much as you can. Keep in mind that many journals are written with the expectation that it will be shared with the child upon the parents passing. If this is something you plan to do, be sure to add the date that you penned the entry.
Your children will appreciate the time you took to share memories in a special journal.
Stay positive; be positive
Inevitably, there will be a time when you’ll want to tell your child every rotten thing he has ever done and how to fix it. While this journal might be a good tool to help your child hone in on specific skills, try not to use it to chastise and belittle. No one wants to read about how pathetic he or she is; resist the urge.
Phrases and proverbs
When I want my children to think about something in particular and change their behavior, I try to offer words of wisdom; telling people what to do turns them off — especially teenagers. Great quotes and anecdotes you hear along the way are wonderful items to include in the journal. As life gets shorter and as we get older, our written words will become more powerful for our families’ years from now. Your kids will most likely appreciate the value later in life.
Clean it up
Have you ever heard the expression, “Kids won’t care what your house looked like or what you were wearing, but they will remember the time you spent with them”? Keep that idea in mind when choosing the words for your journal. Your kids won’t care about your punctuation, but they will care about what you said. Your journal should be clean and free of vulgarities or blame.
It’s not a writing test
Try not to dwell on writing style or grammar. This is not a test and there is little chance that anyone but you and your child will see it. If you should find yourself in need of correcting a sentence fragment or misspelled word though, do what most expert writers do — Google it!
Your thoughts don’t have to be incredibly detailed or lengthy. A quick note to say you noticed how your teen helped around the house, or that it’s great he is doing well in school will most likely bring a smile to his face.
There are plenty of ways to communicate with your child. A personal journal is one of them and is sure to show how much you appreciate the person he or she has become.
As life gets shorter and as we get older, our written words will become more powerful for our families’ years from now.
Ironically, we should be spending more time with our children everyday — not writing about them — or for them. Spending time with our kids is the best medicine, but if that is not always possible, go ahead and write to them. Write something — anything — and keep the process moving. Sooner or later your words will matter.
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