“Let me talk to ‘the’ mother first”
Even the most independent teenagers get excited qbout planning their social calendar, but they forget one thing, and that is, to clear the events with their parents first!
1) A matter of technicality
If I am going to drive, or give up my weekend nights, I might need to decide on some of the details. Sorry to break the news, but teenagers are terrible at logistics. Details such as times, places, people, and events need a reasonable amount of forethought. Better that the parents plan those things.
2) Get the facts
If you want little bits of details while the girls make plans to go to the mall, albeit by way of a text message, look out! You are in for some serious stress– not to mention mixed messages. Stop the insanity and call the other mother directly to figure out the details of the shopping trip.
3) “Red-flag” friends
These type of friends are the ones you rarely hear about, then suddenly, there is a huge party at their house and everyone who is anyone will attend. I call them a “red flag friend” because we really have no idea who their parents are and what type of values or morals they might have. Don’t give in to the pressure. Plan to meet these friends and family at a later date when you can get to know each other naturally before the next big bash.
While trusting your teenagers’ independence is important, many times they tend to get so wrapped up in the frenzy that working out the details, which actually make the event happen in the first place, sort of takes a back seat to the idea that a filled weekend social calendar is all that matters anyway. Teens are crazy about protecting their “street cred” and making sure they fit into their sub groups is dire to thier existence. But for parents, knowing whom their children will be with and where they will be is all that matters to them. I learned a long time ago that the best thing to do is just pick up the phone and call the other parents. Some of these parents might just be feeling the same way and will be glad you reached out.
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