Originally published August 2015
Updated: June 25, 2024
Our young ones are unable to go into an establishment and ask for help, directions, or to talk to the receptionist when entering a business. The thought of going in to a bank and asking the teller for change, or into a restaurant to say, “5 people, please” sends many of them into an absolute shake-fest; a frenzy they cannot compute.
Stage fright
Many develop an unusual phobia if required to have a face-to-face conversation that does not take place on Facetime or WhatsAp. Teenagers have it bad. No really–teenager’s struggle with any type of one-to-one communication. Of course they struggle; nothing in our society says they shouldn’t. Everything they own either plugs in or lights up! Why should they need to go into a bank anyway? Most have online banking in which money can be transferred at the touch of a button. As far as restaurants go, take-out can be ordered online with a quick pick-up, and food can be delivered without even speaking to a single soul. There are even gas stations where food orders can be placed while pumping gas into the car. No, I am speaking of dialogue; meaningful conversations which allow for self-advocacy to further advance social skills.
The lucky shirt
We simply cannot understand their frustration and anxiety. I don’t even think they can explain it . What do they have to compare it to anyway? Nothing! Nada! Zilch! Our children did not grow up learning to have meaningful conversations and discord. Short of giving our kidlet’s a “lucky shirt” so they are able to speak with someone in the flesh, there is most likely nothing we can do about it. Our kids today just don’t want to talk to each other–or maybe emotionally, they simply can’t. Texting each other from across the room seems to be much more interesting–albeit for me, quite amusing.
Another blunder
This is partly our fault. We first taught our babies how to talk and say, “hello.” Then, somewhere around third grade we handed them a cellphone or some type of an electronic device to keep them quiet. Kids in kindergarten have their own personal communication devices now and have become very proficient on social media. It’s true. I say partly our fault because we were the ones who bought the dang things in the first place, then dangled them in front of their eyes. We did our due diligence and made sure everyone we associated with knew we just threw away an unreasonable amount of money to satisfy our child in order to bribe them to do their chores! Just like a buffet where our eyes are bigger than our stomachs, we fell into the hype and allowed our own desires as justification; for this reason our children have better technology than we do. There is simply no reason for them now to talk to anyone. Just another thing to blame on bad parenting.
Thankless effort
Lets face it, this is true for parents as well. Just about everything we want to do might be accomplished online. We don’t even need to leave our house to sign legal papers anymore. Our information is out there and, unfortunately, now it seems, so might be our electronic signatures. So, what argument do we have to enforce autonomy? For that matter, what incentive, other than opportunity, do we have to encourage responsibility? There is no longer any reason to teach these kids how to go into a business and ask for service or assistance.
Of course, we parents have tried. What in the world do you think we are doing every Saturday morning? “Go outside, go play, call your friend and go ride bikes.” Parents are ultimately responsible for allowing the situation to get to the point where our misunderstood young adults are led by their own leash.
Maybe one day, when they are due for a cellular upgrade, they will garner enough spirit to call and ask for one!
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