In the adult world there’s a saying–“kids will be kids.”
Unfortunately, you can’t always shrug off unruly behavior just because they’re kids.
And you can’t always blame it on other people when your kid gets into trouble.
Yet, it happens every year. We send our kidlet into any play group we can find, enroll our child in any activity which might provide a chance for a normal childhood, and then we plan a few “wine” nights with the other mother’s.
Everyone is having fun—until they’re not! A child does something to another child; then our child gets hurt, and before we know it, the entire group is “in-fighting.”
Think about it–it’s a hot potato tossed all over town.
And no matter how we handle the situation, ultimately, it’s our fault; or worse, the other parents blame our child. No thanks!
Group situations tend to be difficult for special needs families, and especially when a child is socially immature or struggles with simple life-skills.
While there are some things parents can do, it’s best to stay vigilant. I’ve learned it’s easier to wade in slowly than try to back out gracefully.
I recommend parents keep these tips in mind for stress-free fun:
- When your child gets into a spat with another child, re-direct your child’s behavior. Don’t wait for the other mother to tell her kidlet to apologize. Chances are it will not happen–better to walk away.
- Do not under any circumstances make excuses for your child’s behavior. Now, if your child does something specific, such as biting or hitting, then yes, apologize for that particular act, but never his condition.
- Try to find a “special needs” group for your child. Parents are likely to have more in common with each other. Socializing with other special families is emotionally safer for us and our children.
- If you can’t find a “special needs” social group, start one of your own. Facebook offers localized groups.
- Don’t sign your child up for a summer sport if you know he or she will not like it. Kids with disabilities either love sports or hate them; there is no in-between. Pushing him into something he doesn’t want to do will only add to your frustration and embarrassment with the team. Choose another activity.
- Before parents take their child to any social event, I recommend they have a quick chat to let their child know what the expectations are. Explain the event, its purpose, and what time it will end. I don’t like surprises and neither do children who learn differently. Communication and processing time is key to a fun filled day.
- Badmouthing other children to another mother is never successful.
We can only control our own situations. If managed thoughtfully–finding a balance to socialize, even just a couple times per week, can be very rewarding for everyone.
Photo credit: The Humantra – Pexels Free to use
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