Do you remember when you or someone you knew was pregnant for the first time and adamantly proclaimed, “When I am shopping at the grocery store, my kids are never going to cry”? Or how about this one… “My kids are never going to act like that in public. Most likely, that was wishful thinking. We all learned soon enough that perfect public behavior from our children would be hit or miss.
Fast forward 10 years and now our “perfect” grocery shoppers are now teenagers. Times have not changed. Parents are still judging other parents. “If that were my teen, I would take his phone away.” Or my favorite, “Where are her parents”? The funny thing is, the parents are right there and most likely working their tails off keeping the teens’ behavior in check. I like to refer to this type of hypocrisy as “pudgement” also known as “parental judgement”!
But the really, really, funny thing is–there are plenty of parents who have miserable, self-centered teenagers who were once miserable grocery shoppers too. Everyone who is raising a young adult most likely is feeling the pain and stress of the hormonal challenges. Unfortunately, most parents are too embarrassed to admit they too have sleepless nights while ripping out their own gray hair. Families delay asking for help because they fear that their perfect family will be called out as a farce; that their perfect straight “A” son or daughter is really sneaking out at night, doing bad stuff on social media, or who knows what else. No, these judgy parents pass the buck and blame everyone but themselves for their child’s misdeeds–it’s laughable. All parents, and I mean all parents go through some type of teenage struggle with their own children. It is just a matter of how much and how it is handled.
It’s like a bird flying beautifully through the air and then suddenly hits a block wall. Someone must be there to help the bird fly again. I would say that reaching out to other parents might provide an insight about what your own child is up to and I just bet you will see that you are not alone. Parents need to stick together in this crazy world of social media. Everyone seems to know everything about everybody anyway. Families win when they are able to be honest with each other about the realities of society.
Many parents will judge other parents’ every move. Thankfully, we know there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ parent, but we do know they like to hide behind their own perfect walls.
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