As I have said before about our kidlets, “We are not helping them if we are helping them.” I am not talking about giving $20 for a tank of gas, or making them breakfast on the way out the door. When I refer to not helping them, I mean that decisions about their future and their choices should be their own. But there has to be a time when real life consequences will supersede the decisions they are making.
Accountability Factor
Children should be held accountable. When parents cover up or bail out a child, the parent runs the risk of supporting the bad behavior. Parents can provide guidance without supporting their conduct. There may be some parents who may not want to face reality and take care of the problems themselves, or worse yet, ignore the challenges. There will also be some parents who will find ways to guide without supporting risky behavior.
“Nobody home I hope, I hope”
Have you ever had to make a phone call and secretly wished the person on the other end would not answer? Do you say, “Nobody home, I hope, I hope.” Raising teenagers is a bit like making a cold call. Unfortunately, many parents think the problem will go away. Many times, unless the situation is addressed immediately, the challenges most likely will build up.
The Tricky Part
Everybody knows that we have to stay on top of our kidlets behavior. But what I want to know is when is it enough? Every day provides a new dimension into the world of “parenting.” Do we allow “free range” kids or do we watch their every move? Turning our backs on our children is bad; handling problems for them can inhibit their independent learning and that is also bad.
Finding the right balance is tricky, but it is important for our children’s overall growth–and ours.
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